Support for Dwyer Community

A year ago today, I woke up for school. I slipped into my grey slacks, tucked in my uniform shirt, made sure I was wearing black shoes. I walked to school, like I did every day, through a neighbourhood of mainly elderly Italian and Portugese couples, stopping to pet the neighbour's dog that has barked at me every morning since I was six. I got to school on time, was greeted at the door by my teacher, stood for the national anthem and morning prayers.

Our school has been one of the most humanitarian and spirited schools in the region for as long as I can remember -- as long as many of my teachers (many of who went there and came back to teach, our of love for the place) can remember. In fact, during my four years, we collectively raised over $25,000 for the Terry Fox Foundation, built a school in Africa, collected food for the less fortunate families of our school, and raised hundreds of dollars in support of 'Me to We'. All of our non-uniform money went to organizations for the greater good. We came together to support members of our school, students and faculty who had tragically lost loved ones. We celebrated victories in sports and the arts, our football team, womens' hockey team and annual musical revered by other schools and citizens of the region. We have, yearly, at least 5 students on scholarship to schools for sports, and teachers who consistently rank in the best of the region.

Yet, when one unfortunate mishap happens off of the property of my school, one woman has the nerve to say that Monsignor Paul Dwyer Catholic High School is the "worst Catholic school in the Durham Region".

I am flat out embarrassed.

Let me start out by explaining a few things. First, unless people ten years our senior actually work at a high school, they have absolutely no idea of what it is like now. I do not think it is fair for parents and older members of community to cast judgment on a school's students without being fully immersed in the social atmosphere. Computers have definitely added to the social climate of a high school -- bullying rates have skyrocketed. And yes, this is an inevitable fact -- bullying will happen. Bullying will happen everywhere. But it's not like "bullies stalk the halls" and there are gangs of "knife-wielding students" around every corner. It is one kid, once in a while, who has issues no parent or teacher or friend can (or worse, want to) deal with, that becomes a bully. It isn't a social choice, to be a bully.

In my years of high school, I only knew of one personal friend who was bullied -- and this was over the internet; no physical threats or even much face-to-face interaction. And this was quickly resolved by the school administration by separating the two on different lunches and class schedules. In fact, the two later resolved their issues and became friends. Fights would occur -- but it was always the grade 9's thinking they had to make a name for themselves; the upper grades had hardly any cases of people picking on younger kids, or even fighting with one another. In fact, I feel the Dwyer community was quite close-knit and mature, given that it is a place that houses 1400 teenagers.

At my school, you were not allowed to enter most classes without first tucking in your shirt and having uniform shoes. You attended monthly masses, you knew some of your teachers on a first name basis, and you could walk around the neighbourhood without any fear of being hurt.

Yet, somehow, two young boys happened to have a fight after school, ending in a fatal wound.

I grew up in the neighbourhood. I wandered through the field next to the Oshawa Airport, I walked to the store at the stop of the street. I went to Dwyer just one short year ago. My sister, 5 years previously. My friend's father went there.

Dwyer is not a bad place.

I felt safe every day I went to that school. In fact, I stayed there until six some days, working on extracurriculars with teachers and friends.

It its beyond my comprehension that such a thing could have happened.

But it did.

I accept that.

I know that bad things happen at high schools. If you pack 1400 confused and trapped teens into a building for six hours a day, they are bound to get a little edgy. But we can't cast blame on an entire community simply because a few misguided individuals make mistakes. No one ever said that the entire country of Canada was the worst in the world when Paul Bernardo was arrested, or when Jessica Lloyd went missing.

People do bad things, under bad circumstances -- but it is in my strong belief that these circumstances were not a result of Paul Dwyer Catholic High School.

Accidents happen, such as the incident that resulted in a broken window at a local store -- no one still knows for sure what exactly happened in that situation. The problem with high schools is the spread of rumours.

An article written by Parvaneh Pessian from durhamregion.com quoted a Mrs. Young, defiling the name of Dwyer as the "worst Catholic School in Durham".

The article stated "From violently competitive cliques, knife-wielding students exchanging a torrent of threats, and even people being thrown through windows -- a murder just steps from the school's front doors comes as no shock".

While I attended Dwyer, less than one year ago, I was not involved in any of these situations.

Why, you may ask? Simply because these are rumours. Rumours are circulated by students, sure. They typically end quickly. But there's another circle going on here. Parents hear of things from their kids -- usually kids who have started fights and altercations and need to lay the blame on someone before their parent finds out that they're involved -- it's manipulation. Parents spread rumours to other parents just as fast as the rumours in the hallways and this can be just as dangerous. I heard things from my own parents and my friends' parents before I even heard them at school myself!

From the article: ""I'm surprised it hasn't happened sooner because they have no control over those students whatsoever," said Ms. Young, who pulled Jessica out of the school at the end of her Grade 10 year after hearing repeated disturbing stories.""

One can't lay the blame on administration, either. The staff at Dwyer has always worked hard to maintain an atmopshere of safety and respect. But we need to remember one thing;

Teachers are educators. Not policemen.

I expect nothing from faculty other than for them to teach us to love and respect others. Sure, a governing force is sometimes neccessary, but what can a principal or teacher really do to stop a student from doing what he or she wants? Nothing -- a teacher can only lead by example and teach what is good and what's not. I can personally vouch for any staff member at Msgr. Paul Dwyer, had he or she been aware of the situation that was about to occur, that they would have done anything in their power (mainly, calling the police, as any citizen would have the responsibility to do) to stop it.

The Dwyer community has lost a member. They need time to mourn, time to recover, time to reevaluate. They need to do things the adult way, which they are capable of.

Spreading rumours and pointing blame, as seen in the Oshawa This Week, is not the adult way to go about expressing opinion. It is, ironically, the typical 'high school way'. I do not know what happened to her daughter at Dwyer, but I'm sorry that anything did, and I'm sorry that she did not have the courage to alert administration if she was unable deal with her situation herself. Things happen in high schools. But they are not standalone. They are fueled and catalyzed by stereotypes and blame and predjudice.

I am not disappointed in my alma mater.

I feel sorry for them.

I am, however, disappointed in the community media, this woman, and anyone who feels any animosity in this situation whatsoever. I'm sorry that Mrs. Young's daughter did not have a pleasant time at Dwyer, that she was on the bad end of someone else' misfortune, and that administration couldn't help either of them. But one must realize that this is not the case for all students.

Please do not cast shame upon a community that does not deserve it.

Perhaps all of us should take note of our school motto:

Vertias Bonitas; Goodness and Truth.

The article by durhamregion.com can be viewed here.